One of the primary accusations thrown at me in my youth was that I was selfish. Usually I was being called selfish by someone whose demands of me were unreasonable, but being the people pleaser I was, I believed it was true. I believed I was selfish so thoroughly that I tried to never consider my own needs at all, but to do whatever the most demanding people in my life wanted, so I would never disappoint anyone or make anyone angry. If you’ve ever done this, you know how futile the effort is. The demands will only grow greater the longer you keep trying to meet them, until you hit a breaking point and can’t say yes. And then you’re punished until you manage to walk away.

I was especially considered selfish if I chose to set aside time and space for my creative pursuits. Parents, and then partners, labeled me as selfish any time I tried to carve out time and space to create, unless it was for someone else. Until I met my wife, who wants me to be whole, and content, and values my creativity because it feeds me, not because it profits her in any way. Funny thing, though, when you’re used to thinking of meeting your own needs as selfish: you struggle to be generous toward your creative self even if your loved ones want you to be. I’m still learning not to feel deep guilt when I spend most of my time creating and nourishing my creativity.

Does making art seem selfish? It is not. But Michelle, you might say, the world is on fire! How can I justify making art when everything is going to hell? I would ask, how can you NOT make art? 

Making art is generous. 

You know the old “put your own mask on first” analogy? Consider: once your basic needs for food, water, and some kind of shelter from the elements are met, what do you need most? If you’re anything like me, the top of that list is caring for, and using, your creativity. Making is one of your deepest needs. Denying it leaves you depleted and dissatisfied, and we all know how hard it is to be generous with others when we’re in that state. If you want to have the reserves to help make the world a better place, you’ll do well to give yourself generous time and resources for your creativity. Even if you only create for yourself, and don’t show your work to anyone else, the world is a better place when you are well fed in every possible way.

Beyond it’s value as a form of self care, the act of making is generous to others in and of itself. Think of how much joy and comfort you take from your favorite music, stories, and works of visual art. Think of how much beauty lifts your spirits. The greater the horrors, the more we all need the comfort of creative beauty in all forms. If you have any kind of desire to share your art with others, know the world wants it. The world needs more whimsy, more silliness, more regular humans being our unique selves. There can never be too many of us sharing our gifts. 

Questions to ponder:

Are you being generous towards your creative self?

If you are, how are you filling your creative well?

Is it enough?

If it’s not, what else could you offer your creative self?

If you are NOT being generous toward your creative self, can you think of one small way you could begin to give more to your creativity? For example, could you set aside a small window of time weekly to simply show up and be willing to create? Could you seek inspiration from a book, someone else’s art, music, or a list of creative prompts? (Yes that last one is shameless self promotion.) Sometimes life makes it very hard to make art. You might need to think outside of the box to be more generous toward your art, but if you can find a way, it’s worth it.

Photo by yours truly.

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