Monday Inspiration: Courage

Small white violets blooming in the rain

I’ve been afraid of nearly everything for as long as I can remember. As a child I was afraid of all insects, even the tiniest ants. I was afraid of other humans, afraid of deep water, afraid of slimy textures and getting lost and saying the wrong thing. My older brother was the opposite: he lived for thrills, wasn’t afraid of defying our parents, loved downhill skiiing and waterskiing and motorcycles and fast cars. Meanwhile I read a lot of books.

I’m still afraid a lot of the time – especially, still, of other humans. And sometimes I wish I wasn’t. Sometimes I wish I thrived on challenges and adventures. But I seem to be a very respectable sort of hobbit and I like a simple existence which probably looks boring to a lot of people. 

So when I think about courage, my first thought is … oh that’s not me. I’m a timid little mouse.

But then I remember that courage is only evident in the face of fear. My chronic anxiety demands courage just to leave the house. I have to practice courage to drive, or talk to a stranger (even a barista or cashier) … and yes. I have to practice courage to write and publish blog posts.

The more afraid you are, the more everyday life requires courage. Someone who is fearless doesn’t have to be brave. Someone who is afraid does. So when you start comparing yourself to someone adventurous, remember: you don’t know what they feel inside. You don’t know if facing challenges gives them a rush of exhilaration, when it just gives you a stomach ache and an intense desire to run and hide.

For those of us with a hefty amount of fear, creating what we love requires courage. Sharing what we create takes courage. Following inspiration and letting our creativity evolve takes courage. Creative pursuits don’t come with guarantees: in fact often the creative life is full of mystery, even when we start out with what seems like a clear plan.

If we let others see our work, they could disapprove. If they disapprove of our creations, we could be mocked. We could be punished in some way. We could be ostracized.

 If others do approve, we might feel obligated to continue repeating the same formula that inspires admiration in others, that pleases our families, that makes us money. We might find ourselves reluctant to try anything new, for fear it might ruin our reputation, our businesses, or our relationships.

If we don’t share our creations with others, we might struggle to justify giving our time to creativity. We might fear we are selfish if we create just for ourselves. We might fear we aren’t good people because we could be doing something more important, more “worthwhile.”

But of course it’s worthwhile to practice courage, even in small ways. If you’re a creative person, being brave enough to exercise your creativity will enrich your life and help you find more contentment even when life is hard and the world is a horror show.  Can it be hard? Yes, sometimes. But the alternative is dying a little bit inside, and I’m not willing to do that. If you’re reading this, you probably don’t want it either. 

Questions to ponder:

Do you have creative fears? If you do, it could be useful to sit down and write them out. What’s the worst thing that would happen if you dove into your creative life and made whatever it is you most long to make? Allow yourself, for a limited amount of time, to imagine those worst case scenarios. But please don’t stop there. 

Now consider, if you are brave enough to create what you love, what is the BEST things that could happen? Could you, perhaps, find deep joy and satisfaction in pursuing your ideas? Could you find new connections with the world through the expression of your creative self? What else might happen if you pursue that passion?

When was the last time you had to practice courage? How did it turn out? How do you feel about facing that fear, large or small?

What is a small, simple way you might practice creative courage today, or this week, or even this month? It doesn’t have to be a grand adventure. It could be something that just makes you nervous. Sit with the idea and ask yourself: can you do it? Are you willing to do it afraid? If you’re not, is there an even smaller way you can face your creative fears? Be gentle with yourself here: the point isn’t to bully yourself into anything, but to carefully probe the edges of your fears and see if you might find a way to do something you want to do in spite of them. Whatever happens, be kind to you. Life is hard. Sometimes we need to stay safe more than we need anything else, and that’s okay. You’ll know when the time is right to challenge yourself.

Photo by yours truly.

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Response

  1. Nico Avatar

    Michelle, thank you for being courageous, time and again. Your postings are important. I’m also afraid quite often of things that don’t bother other people, and then I have to find the path that is right and important for me personally.

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