As a child I swam in a disorienting sea of emotions, not all of which were mine. At times I found myself weeping or frightened for no reason I could understand. I often felt other peoples’ anger simmering under their apparently calm exteriors, and would be confused when they denied their fury, wondering if I’d imagined what I sensed. I was in my twenties before I really understood how people can lie about their feelings.

It wasn’t until my late thirties that I learned how common it is for people from abusive homes to be highly attuned to the emotional states of others, sometimes to the extent that we feel the emotions in our own bodies. In some ways this can be a gift: it helps those of us who go into healing traditions, and can help us stay safe around unsafe people.

But it’s not an easy gift. I often feel raw and exhausted after being around with people for even a short amount of time. I’m lucky enough now to work for myself and my family, so I rarely have to deal with the onslaught of other people’s feelings.

But when I do have to leave my relative solitude, I can still easily be overwhelmed by the energies and emotions constantly battering at me.

I’ve tried many kinds of visualizations and shielding, but many techniques don’t help me with the emotional overload. Most of the exercises I found in the past were some variation on the bubble of colored light method, and somehow I just couldn’t relate to them. And – due to my own thinking, not the fault of those who suggested the exercises – I always understood the exercises as being designed to protect me from harm of the accidents-and-random-shooting variety, or maybe even from people being mean to me. Which meant I rarely remembered to shield myself in mundane situations. When I did remember, the shielding was successful in that I managed to avoid car accidents and gunshots, but I still felt anywhere from tired and irritable to downright traumatized after any time around other humans.

Then, during a time of frequent reflection and meditation, I came to understand why the typical shielding exercises I’d read about didn’t work for me.

1. The imagery was wrong. I’m not a white light, ethereal energies kind of witch. I’m a hands in the dirt, trudging forest paths kind of witch. I need personally evocative imagery.

2. I wasn’t focusing on protecting myself from the most frequently troublesome force for me: other humans’ energy and emotions.

The following visualization came from a conversation with a dear friend, who suggested the imagery that might work for me. I thought it might be helpful for other grubby witches and tree huggers who happen to be especially emotionally sensitive.

Begin by taking a moment to catch your breath and clear your thoughts. In time, and with practice, this visualization will become second nature and you will be able to do it whenever and wherever you need to. But you should practice it at first when you are in a place where you feel safe and can truly focus, even if it’s the shower or your car (but only if you aren’t actually driving!).

Next, imagine vines or branches rising up slowly from the ground and winding into a living sphere around you, the leaves moving softly in a gentle breeze. If there’s a specific plant or tree who feels very protective to you, imagine that friend forming the sphere. Focus on the loving protection coming from this plant or tree: feel how the protective sphere around you is alive and connected to the earth. Imagine it in as many kinds of detail as you can: textures, sights, scents, even sounds.

You might also speak to this plant shield: I sometimes say things like “Plant spirits, please wrap me in your loving energy. Please protect me from the uncomfortable energies of others, both intentional and unintentional. Please protect me from the emotions of others, and allow me to feel only my own emotions until I am in a safe place again.”

When I still had to leave home for work every day, this exercise transformed my daily life. I did it every morning before I left the house, and I found myself far less drained and raw at the end of the day. With this shield in place, if I need to, I can still sense what others are feeling, but I don’t have to experience those emotions as if they are my own.

If this visualization doesn’t work for you, don’t give up. Consider what symbols or spirits feel especially protective to you, and work with them to create shielding methods that help you navigate stressful spaces. If you have favorite techniques to share, please drop them in the comments.

Photo by Nick West, courtesy of Unsplash.

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